My husband recently asked me why I went into parent education and coaching. I had to think about it for a minute, because it's been a huge part of my life for the past 27 years. But it boils down to this: I love helping people work through the problems of being a parent today.
Over the years people have come to me unhappy with their family life, unhappy with the relationship with their children, maybe even feelinghelpless and out of control.
It's been a privilege and a joy to help them figure things out. Lots of times we've come up with creative ideas together. Sometimes they were oddball ways of working on the problem, but they were practical and easy to put into action. Other times it has been more about helping them understand what's normal for kids at a particular age -- where they are developmentally, what they can do, what they can't do, how they look at things. Either way, they've usually felt better knowing that every parent goes through these bumps and that it's not about them. It's about being a parent.
That's why I eventually named my business "Practical Solutions Parenting Coaching." It's a long name, but that's what it's really about -- practical solutions for parents. It's about new ways of looking at things. It's about getting out of the rut, away from the things that aren't working. It's about going from the struggle and the pain to the good outcomes they sincerely want for themselves, their families and their children, knowing that they have what they need to cope and succeed.
Along the way I've come up with different tools and approaches. Everyone's problem is different. The solutions also need to be different.
Some people need hints, tips and suggestions for immediate, practical change. For them, consultation is often the way to go. We spend time together, either in person or on the phone, talking about the things they're finding difficult. We discuss what's typical developmentally. We come up with new ways of looking at things and new ways of interacting with their kids.
Other people are concerned with longer term issues -- how to get through a particularly difficult stage, how to develop nurturing lifetime relationships with their children, how to help their children develop the skills and attitudes it will take to become the best people that they can. For these parents, coaching can be the right way to go. We focus on what's working well today and how to build on that to get where they want to go.
Other parents feel that their children are out of control and that the usual sources of advice -- relatives, friends, parenting books -- aren't helping. For them, the ScreamfreeTM approach of Hal Runkel, LMFT, can be extremely helpful. For this we do classes and individual consultations.
I'm a parent. I know how big and scary being a parent is, and how much we all want to get it right. But everyone's "right" is different. That's why the approach our parents took with us doesn't seem to work for our children. Parenting is about change and growth -- ours and our children's. It's not about the status quo and it's not about easy and simple formulas. It's about flexibility, knowledge and hard work. If that's how you look at it too, Practical Solutions Parent Coaching will be right for you.
~ Rhonda Moskowitz, M.A, PCI-Certified Parent Coach® and Certified Screamfree Facilitator